Texting 101

Text messaging. What a wonderful creation. As soon as the full keyboard was invented, this text messaging thing skyrocketed. Mobile phone companies made so much money off this.


Text messaging has revolutionized communication in our world, replacing AIM and at times, talking on the phone.

What's the point of texting? What's with the craze over sending instant messages over the phone? Why do people even bother doing it? Well, I think I've got it somewhat figured out.

Reason#1: To inform via "The Informative Text."
You are texting with a purpose. You're being instructive. You give them a "What?" and a "Why?" No questions asked.
"aye brah." - Don't be rude. Hit 'em up with a salutation. Don't disrespect.
"get out of the house." - the What?
"cops!" - the Why?

There's no need to text back. This text says it all. But sometimes you get Dopey Dudley here who texts back,
I hope Dopey Dudley learns his lesson, which is to always listen to your boy's "Informative Text." Think with your head, not with the one located in your pants.

Reason#2: To Spit Some Game via "The Flirty Text."
This is by far the more complicated of the two. You're trying to get at some girl, but you're too scared to talk to her in class. Understandable. Hit 'em up with the flirty text.

Rules and Regulation with "The Flirty Text:"

• Be yourself. If you're a nice guy, don't put on the "bad guy" persona. 'Cause first of all, that's lame. Secondly, that's not you.
• Don't text anything you can't say in front of the girl. No "nice cakes ;)" nor "wherje atre youi imn hellza drunkl."

Confident Conner. Please stop. You're not fooling anyone.

• Easy on the emoticons. Save the :) and the =)'s until the girl deserves it. They start to lose meaning if you overuse them.

Plus, you look overtly happy and downright desperate.

Special Scenarios I've Yet to Decipher:

• How to respond to these texts

I interpret this as the girl doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Girls, how the hell do you expect guys to reply to this?! Guys, feel free to give me your take on this.

Remember
Text how you want to text. Be yourself. You don't have to listen to a single thing I say. Maybe I've got it figured out. Maybe I don't. What do I know, right? I still haven't "gotten some," but that's a story for another day.

Until Then,
John

(Blog was inspired by late night talks with Daniel, Alex, and Eric and by 10-second lessons from Steve.)